Miss Mason

 

A fyowe days ago I wint alang a lane that I hinna been in for a lot o years an memories came floodin back tae ower a haaf century ago. 

Fan I startet ma time as a pinter in 1970 the firm I vrocht for hid a fair puckle men at that time. A lot o them hid themsels served their apprenticeships there so they wint back a generation at least. Onywye I started hearin some o the lads spikkin aboot a wifie caad Nelly Mason but they wid stop if I came inaboot. Thes wint on for a couple o wikks till ae day my boss came inaboot and tellt ma that I wiz tae gang tae a Miss Mason and pint her street side spoots and a skylecht the follyin wikk. Ma luggies perkit up fan I heard the name Mason and a thocht tae masel could thes be the Nelly Mason that I’d been hearin aboot in secretive tones ower the past fylie? And then again fitwye wid ma boss gee a wikk’s notice for a simple jobbie like pintin some spoots an a skylecht. I wid seen fin oot. The tradesmen started tellin ma stories aboot thes Nelly Mason an foo ivvery apprentice that hid ivver geen there got their tatties fae her. Some o them even got chased doon the street by her an her vowin vengeance on them. Then wid come a huge row in the workshop wi ma boss and she’d caa them till even the cats widna lick their bleed. My boss then hid tae gang and feenish the job. As I said some o the aaler journeymen hid served their time at the firm and apparently they’d gotten their tatties fae her fan they were loons like masel. Ower the years gan tae Nelly’s hid become a bit o a right o passage tae ony new apprentices so noo it wiz my turn. Oh mechty me for the rest o that wikk I’d tae listen tae the journeymin gan on aboot fit happened tae them as loons an my getting ribbit aboot fit wiz gan tae happen tae me next wikk. 

So at haaf syven on the Monday mornin aa the lads were githered as usual getting ready for fitivver jobbies they were gan till that day but some how they werena leavin as usual but steed there smilin as I got ma laidder lookit oot. As seen as I shoodered ma laidder an made ma wye oot they aa started sayin in strange voices “You’ll be sorrrry” or “Tatties ower the side for you boy!”

By the time I reached Nelly Mason’s hoosie my knees were knockin. I managed tae pit the laidder up wi a bit o a chave but it wisna a big yin aboot fifteen feet but it wiz mair nerves I suppose rather than onything else that made it awkward . I chappit at the door tae tell Nelly I wiz there ready tae start ma vrocht.
A fyowe mintys later the door opened and thes neat wee wifie steed there glowerin at ma.
I managed tae spikk athoot ma vice gyan ower heich an blurtted oot
“Good mornin Miss Mason Ah’ve come tae pint yer spoots!”
At thes she teen a step back and I saw a look o shock pass ower her face then the scowl came back an she said
“Weel lonnie ye’d better get tillt then!” an closed the door wi a bang. Ah well that’s a gweed start I thocht tae masel.
It only teen a couple o oors tae scrape an chip the roosty bitties on the spoots and tak aff the lowse putty fae the skylecht and pit on some fresh stuff. Then a quick coat tae cover the roosty bits on the spoots. By thes time we werena allooed tae use reedlead pint so we hid thes new stuff caad Rustoleum I mind on it because the advert on the tin said ‘Developed for the space programme by NASA!’ That een stuck in ma mind and also it really did work nae like the reedlead that didna.
I sweepit up the roosty pint flakins and bitties o hard putty fae the skylecht and stored ma laidder up the side o the hoose. I chappit at the door eence again but thes time I didna get a reply so I wrote on the back o bit o saanpaper that I’d be back the morn at acht.

  Neist day I wun back wi the battleship grey undercoat for the job.
In the workshop the lads hid been teasin ma and seemed surprised I’d actually gotten throwe the first day athoot getting chased for ma life but quickly added I’d be getting ma tatties the day.
Onywye I jist got on wi the job and made damned sure I nivver hut the harl wi pint.
Aboot haaf wyes throwe the mornin the door opens and the wee wifie shouted up at ma if I’d like a cup o tay.
Oh mechty aye I’d fairly like that so in I wint makin sure there wisna ony pint on ma haans. It wiz a bonny wee kitchin wi dark oak timmer linins haaf wye up the waa and distempered cream up tae the fite ceilin. A big table steed on the centre o the fleer wi a snaa fite tablecloth and a place set for me.
Oh mechty an here’s me pintin wi battleship grey pint an sure as onything some will end up on the tablecloth. I rowed up ma sleeves an checkit ma haans again afore Ah sat doon. The wee wifie wiz busy at a big aal farrent range wi the kettle. I could see some aal black & fite photaes on the waa at ma lefthaan and in front there wiz a wee sash an case windae lookin oot ontae the back green. The fleer hid flagsteens and were like the rest o the room absolutely pristine. Fisher fowk were aa like that. Spotless clean.
She came inaboot wi a big taypot an poored some intae ma cup then speired at ma if I’d like a buttery. Oh mechty me sickin fine.
Nelly sat hersel doon opposite ma wi a cuppy o tay an speired o ma faar I came fae an things like that. I could see that she lookit affa hinginluggit an the scowlin face fae yistreen wiz awa. The conversation kindo peetered oot so lookin up at the photaes hingin on the waa aside ma I speired faa wiz the affa bonny lassie in een o them. Now I mean it wiz a gye aal photae but the lassie in it wiz a beauty queen that could staan aside ony beauty an come oot tops.
I’ll nivver forget the tears that came tae her eenies as she tellt me it wiz her sister that hid deet o TB in 1910 at the age o twinty. Nelly said that she hersel wiz the youngest o the faimily and wiz nine or ten fin her bonny sister deet. I canna mind a lot o the details but I got tae see aa the photaes on the waa o her faimily then some albums wi loads mair. That ended up a cracker o a job and een that I’ll nivver forget.
The day aifter I feenished my boss came inaboot tae ma and gave me a ten shillin note fae Nelly and speired at ma fit Ah’d been sayin tae her. He genuinely seemed shocked and naebody ivver teased me aboot getting ma tatties again. I did see Nelly aifter that fyles and we’d hae a wee news in the street and she’d ask ma roon for a cuppy and a news onytime but that wiz nivver tae be because she deet nae lang aifter.
I still winder noo fit happened tae the photaes? I hope they were keepit by the faimily especially the een wi the beauty queen. 

Sanners Gow.