“Ah’m
tellin ye this is the same type ‘o’ shoes that pirates wore
hunners o years ago!”
“Awa
ye go! Yer mither bocht them oot ‘o’ D & Es ower in Banff!”
So
the argument had been going on now for most of the week.
“Ah’ll
bet you could dee wi’ a pair ‘o’ sheen like this? Eh? Said
Johnny to Billy.
Billy
looked on outwardly indifferent as Johnny polished the buckles of his
shoes for the thousandth time.
“Look
at that! See how they shine? If you hid a pair ‘o’ shoes like
this we could play at pirates!” said Johnny trying to tease Billy.
“I
dinna want a pair ‘o’ shoes like that - - they’re weemin’s
shoes onywye!” he said hardly managing to keep the jealousy out of
his voice. Billy didn’t mention that his mother had been over to D
& Es for a pair too but had been told there had only been the one
pair, and that had been for an historical window display.
Johnny
knew Billy would love a pair and did his utmost to make him jealous.
“YO
HO HO and a bottle o rum- - “ sang Johnny as he swaggered about the
drying green- - “Fifteen men in a dead man’s chest yo ho ho- - “
Pulling on on the clothes line as if hoisting the mizzen.
!Oh!
Ah’ve got dust on ma buckles Ah’d better clean it aff!”
“Aye
ye’d better clean yer weemin’s sheen!” shouted Billy fae his
favourite seat on tap o the coalbunker. “Abody will laugh an’ caa
ye a sissy for haein sheen wi buckles on them!”
Johnny
decided tae let that one slip, intead he said “Let’s ging doon ti
the hairbour wi the linies;-- - maybe a pirate ship will sail in for
supplies an’ I’ll be be teen on as een o the crew seein’ that
I’ve got pirate shoes.”
“Come
on en- -” says Billy jumping down from the coal bunker - -”Let’s
get the linies an some worms.” Off they went tae the shed for their
linies and Billy reminded Johnny “We’ll need a jar for the
worms.”
“I’ll
get een!” and Johnny’s off into the house. A minute later he came
back with one of his mother’s jars she kept for her summer jam.
“Ah’ve
got een” Far’s the spade?” he found it and handed the spade and
the jar to Billy- - “You dig em up!” he commanded.
“Fit’s
wrang wi you? - - -. Why div you nae dig em up?” asked Billy.
“I
canna dig dig em up Ah’ve ma fancy sheen on!”
Billy
gave in- - “Gee’s a hud o’t.” Soon they’d enough worms and
headed for the harbour.
Settling
down at their favourite spots they soon were lost to the excitement
of fishing. Between the boys there was a great deal of competition
while fishing. Billy favoured the end of the pier while Johnny
prefered where the pier joined the fish market.
After
a good while Johnny shouted - - “Look at that!” - - -
Billy
heard and came running over thinking Johnny was onto whopper. “Look
at that!” - - “Fit? Far aboot?” asked Billy looking into the
water.
“Look
div ye see that?- - - See the wye the sun reflects aff ma buckles?”
Billy’s
mind was torn back from contemplating a huge fish to the soul
destroying envy of the pirate shoes.
“Wid
ye shut up aboot yer wifie’s sheen- - Did ye see the wye abody
looked at yer feet fin we come doon the road?”
“Aye
Ah noticed!” at’s because they’d been thinkin at lad must be a
pirate; - he’s got pirate’s sheen on.” answered Johnny. Billy
getting really jealous came back with - “It’s nae fit they were
thinkin, I heard them sayin as we passed.”
“Look
At’s a fanny he’s weerin wifie’s sheen- - an he fair thinks he’s
a pirate.”
“Pieces
o eight- pieces o eight!” squaked Johnny mocking Long John Silver’s
parrott.
Billy
retreated to his favoured spot and continued fishing.Now and then ‘Yo
ho ho and a bottle o rum’ would come from Johnny’s end of the
pier.
About
an hour and a lot of black thoughts later he heard Johnny shouting.
Looking round he saw Johnny gestulating with his arms and hoping
about on one foot. Billy ignored him and continued fishing there was
no way he was going there to be told the sun was reflecting off his
shoe buckles. But Johnny carried on shouting so Billy ran down to see
what was wrong. Johnny in a terrible state said “Quick min- get yer
line – een ‘o’ ma sheen’s fell intae the hairbour,- hook it
afore it sinks!” Sure enough there it was floating in the water
with its buckle shining bright. “Use yer ain line.” said Billy- -
“I canna it drapped intae the water ana!”
By
this time the shoe began to sink, water getting in where the buckle
was attached. The buckle grew green as the shoe slowly sank to the
bottom of the harbour. Johnny by this time had virtually broken down
gasping “Ma shoe! Ah’ve lost ma shoe- mither will kill ma-!”
and started to bubble.
After
wandering about aimlessly for a few minutes, he gathered his thoughts
and decided against diving into the harbour because he couldn’t
swim. Instead he began walking up the road, or hoping would be a
better staement.
Billy
followed on with a grin like a Cheshire cat; completely satisfied
with what had happened thinking to himself ‘Yo ho ho and a bottle
of rum’.
A
boy shouted “HEY! That lad’s only got ae shoe on hahaha!”
Johnny shouted a profanity and gave chase to the boy. It’s strange
to witness someone running with one shoe on – slap- pad- slap-pad-
slap-pad until he stubbed his toe on the pavement and was rolling
around on the road holding his injured foot and letting off a string
of oaths that would’ve made a real pirate blush.As it was the
height of Summer the street was crowded with holidaymakers most of
whom had stopped what they were doing to witness the proceedings.
Sitting
on the road was a blond haired blue eyed boy that looked as if butter
wouldn’t melt in his mouth letting go the most obscene curses
they’d ever heard. They were aimed at God, the devil, the harbour,
the road and above all something that sounded like “wifie’s sheen
onywye!”
At
the other side of the road sat another blond haired blue eyed boy
with the same butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth looks with the
tears of laughter rolling down his cheeks. Billy uderlined the whole
episode with - - “YO HO HO and a bottle o fuckin rum!” hahahaha!
End.
copyright © Sanners Gow
Great Story
ReplyDelete