A lad came up fae Edinburgh tae dee a talk on 'The social impact o fishing quotas on the wee coastal toons on the Moray coast’ at Macduff Toon Hall . The place wiz fair mobbit wi fowk fae the fishin communities alang the Moray coast faa hid turned up in their droves. Tae some it wiz a richt fine day oot and the chance tae weer their gweed Sunday clyes on a week day that wisna the Sabbath. Even their geets were polished like new preens. The loons wi brillcreme on their heeds an the quines wi ribbons in their hair. Michty me sic an affa excitement!
A big problem arose though that promised tae scupper the talk fair in its tracks. The Edinburgh lad hid wint and left his false teeth back in Edinburgh steepin in a joog o saaty water at his bedside. Sic an affa cairryon set up at this. The lad fae Edinburgh wiz gye distraught and walkin aboot tellin onybody that wid listen, "For God'th thake I canna thspik like thith naebody will underthstand a word I thay!" "Ae me sic ongyans!" fowk were heard tae say tae eenanither.
A fyowe frantic phone calls later by the toon hall staff tae get a hud o Andy Plum tae see if he micht hae ony ideas. Andy happened tae be vrochtin doon at Tarlair street sortin the pavements at the time so the officials got a hud o him an speired fit his thochts on the maitter micht be? Andy cannily got tae his feet teen aff his beret an scrated his heed. Aifter a minty or twa he said for them leave it wi him an that he kent the very lad tae fix their problem. Some gye relieved officials made their wye back tae the Toon Hall because aabody in Macduff kent Andy could sort onything.
Nae lang aifterhins a lad in a fyte coat comes in cairryin a whole pyoke o false teeth. Aifter tryin thirty or forty different sets the Edinburgh lad got a set that did the trick and apart fae a wee bittie o a fussle noo an then he wiz on top o his game.
His talk wint doon a storm so he stood there in the midst o a standin ovation wi his chesty fair stickin oot and his heedy rockin. Aifter aabody hid calmed doon the chairmin thanked him for comin aa the wye tae Macduff an giein sic an interesting talk and that if he'd care tae sit doon there'd be tay and spam sandwiches being served. The spam an breed of coorse came fae Tam Dow's shop in high stree the best that siller could buy. He the Edinburh lad in turn thanked the toon hall staff and aa the members o the fishin community for makkin him so welcome. Lookin ower at the lad wi the fite coat he said "And a special thanks to the dentist there who made everything possible by bringing the bag o teeth!" Aabody clapped at this but the man in the fite coat seemed a wee bittie embarrassed and stood up and said tae the Edinburgh lad. "Thank you for your kind words but I'm nae a dentist I'm an undertaker!"
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