The Clootie Dummmplin.

The Clootie Dummmplin!

Aal Mrs Robson wiz an affa fine craiter an so wiz her man Jocky. He’d been the gravedigger for Macduff Toon Cooncil up at the Myrus cemetary until he retired in 1935. They bade doon at the heed o Hutcheon street yonder but the hoosie like themsels is lang awa an forgotten, an mair’s the peety.

They’d a fine yard at the back o the hoosie faar Jocky grew aa kinds o berries an vegetables an sic like. By this time Jocky wiz gettin on a bittie an wisna sae swaak aboot the hochs as he eence wiz. Noo it wiz a greet an a girn tae get yokit an michty but the yard wiz a fair caa tee. Onyhoo wi this the gairden wiz getting gye neglecit like this didna suit Mrs Robson ava so she suggested he speir at his pal Ackers Lendrum if he’d dee the yard for him. Ackers wiz a lot younger than Jocky and hid teen ower his job fin he’d retired. Fin asked Ackers said ‘Michty aye min I’ll fairly dee that!’

   Nae siller changed haans of coorse but Ackers wid be getting a share in the produce. Noo this arrangement suited Ackers doon tae the grun for he’d sell his share tae the local shops tae mak a sair knott shillin for his beer. Better norr that ilka time he vrocht in the yard Mrs Robson wid come oot wi a slab o clootie dumplin. She’d speir at him ‘Wid ye be likin a daad o clootie dummmplin Ackers ?’ Michty but Ackers wiz that fond o her dumplin an tae Mrs Robson he praised her clootie dumplin (or as she’d say clootie dummmplin) tae the high heavens. An wi this praise aa the mair clootie dummmplins did she’d mak.

   It wiz the hinner eyne o the season an Ackers wiz clearin the grun an dailin it ower for the neist year. Aal Jocky helpit faar he could an brunt aa the deed growth in the midden tae mak intae potash for the gairden. They were vrochtin awa newsin aboot this an that an ivvery noo an then Ackers wid gyang ower tae the plate a big slab o clootie dumplin lay on an teer aff anither fyang o’t an mash it doon his thrapple. Aal Jocky jist shook his heed thinkin ‘Michty that’s aboot the third slab o’t he’s pitten awa an it nae haaf throwe the mornin’s yokin. Gweed sakes faar diz he pit it aa?’ Onywye Jocky teen a barrafae o kale reets ower the wye o the midden wi a bit o a grunt for his hochs were playin up eynoo. There wiz an affa narra bit atween the shed an the hoordin. Ahin the hoordin lay the midden. As he passed throwe wi the loaded barra his sark caught on a nail that near tore it fae his back aathegither.
Wi a curse an a bit o a stotter Jocky coupit the barra an skailed the kale reets aboot the grun. Mair than cursin he made tae pick athing up but faa should come inaboot but Mrs Robson hersel?
‘Michty min that’s an affa din yer at! Fit’s the waur wi ye?’ Jocky wiz grummlin aboot the skailed reets an his gweed sark bein ruined. Ackers wiz taakin aa this in an kittlin Jocky up. He lookit neen ower pleased aboot it. So Ackers teen the chance o a bit rest an anither daad o dumplin tae sit an watch the ongyans.
‘It’s ma gweed sark! Look at that!’ Mrs Robson hid a lookie at it sayin , ‘Gweed be here min that sark’s like yersel aal an deen . I’ll nae be able tae sort that!’ Jocky started grummlin eence mair but Mrs Robson stoppit him in mid grummle.
‘Tak it aff ye girnin all bugger an I’ll get ye anither yin!’ So sayin she made intae the hoose. Still a bittie vrocht up Jocky did as he wiz bid an teen it aff but nae afore he’d teen his wastcoat, gallusus an belt aff first though.
Ackers wiz sittin watchin the reels an mashin yet mair dumplin intae his face. Jocky’s sark wiz made o thick wool like the army wore but a grey colour that hid lang tails tae them tae haap a man’s back fae the caal. As he teen it aff Ackers spotted dried shite stickin tae the tail o’t an throwe a moothfae o dumplin shouted
‘Michty Jocky ye must’ve let the tail o yer sark get in the road o yer last shite min!’
Commin ower a glaickit Jocky wuppit up the sark tae hide the offendin broon bits an wiz on the point o haivin it ontae the midden fin Mrs Robson returned wi anither sark.
Ackers throwe a big moothfae o crummles shouted ‘Caught wi the shite covered tail!’
Mrs Robson gye come at says tae Jocky ‘Fit are ye deein min? Ye mauna throw that awa!’ So sayin she grabbit it fae him an taakin a pair o shears fae her aapron pooch started cuttin aff the shite covered tail sayin ‘Ye ken fine I like tae keep the tails o yer aal sarks for tae mak ma clootie dummmplins!’

end.

 

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